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Mailbag: GF Left, 5 Months Later She Wants to Come Back

The mailbag is a Q&A column based on the real emails you guys send me. If you have a question related to dating, relationships, or psychology, click here to send me your question and your email might be the next one chosen.

Good day to you..

I’m not sure if you are a question to answer responder but I am looking for others advice outside of my personal family and friends.

So the story goes…I started dating my girlfriend 5 years ago when she had a 5 month year old daughter(not biologically mine). The first year or two I was always with them but hesitant to take on that fatherly role.

Finally we bought a house together after 3 years. Everything was great except the house wasn’t what we dreamt of together. So we sold a year after and bought an even nicer place together.

We are now at 4 1/2 years into our relationship while “our” daughter is almost 5. Then she cuts it off like that!!! Ya we had our normal relationship arguments, ups and downs, but nothing drastic. What we were the best at is we never held a fight for more than a few hours. We each expressed our points, stormed off, but always made up shortly after.

She left me and two days later I hear she’s with another man. So throughout the breakup I was accused of so many misrepresentations of who I am, we had a terrible split, had to sell our house….and I was forced move on without them both.

Well I’m in a better place now, doing great for myself personally. And all of a sudden I get phone calls and text messages from her, 5 months later after the initial break up. She wants me back.

What nerve I say to myself, but she holds a huge part of my reconstructing heart.

Wtf do I do.

Shitty situation man.

She messed up here, didn’t she. She found a guy who was willing to step up and provide for her and her child, but bailed for greener pastures, only to discover they weren’t so green after all.

That’s not the biggest issue though. If she was with another guy two days after she left, there was a relationship going on with him while she was still with you.

If the story is as simple as you say it is, she has no business coming back. She cheated on you, then left you high and dry, and is coming back to you now that things didn’t work out. Fuuuuuck that.

Like you said, you’re doing fine on your own, so keep on doing fine. Find yourself someone who isn’t going to bail on you after you not only take in her child but also put up the cash for two different houses.

What are your thoughts – do you agree? Or am I being too harsh… should he give her another shot? Comment below.

By November 25, 2014 February 18th, 2022 Blog, Psychology & Relationships

Author Ryan

More posts by Ryan

Join the discussion 10 Comments

  • Jim says:

    Ryan is absolutely correct Fuuuuck that, don’t be a tool my man. When someone shows you who they are believe them. Move on, you deserve better.

  • Jim says:

    Ryan is absolutely correct Fuck that, don’t be a tool my man. When someone shows you who they are believe them. Move on, you deserve better.

  • Kim says:

    I don’t think she’s trust worthy. You put a serious investment into the relationship and she was orchestrating other plans for quite a while. I couldn’t trust her again.Not with my money or my heart.

  • Very interesting topic, thank you for putting up.

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  • Abigail says:

    Was in a long term relationship for 10 plus years of which I was constantly giving of my resources and time, once I had no job and eventually had back surgery I saw a side of my partner and his children that left me broken and confused.Shortly after he had a huge wedding to his former lover .I am trying to reframe and reconstruct my thoughts about the whole ordeal.

    • Ryan says:

      Hi Abigail,

      This is a major emotional wound! I’d recommend seeing a professional to sort through your thoughts and feelings.

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